Fake promoted Amazon Products shit has gotta stop


Our toaster is dying. We had a good one that was gifted us for our wedding in 2000, and a couple years ago, it gave up the ghost. Alas, time and resistive heater elements are not entirely compatible. Bummer.

We bought a cheap-ish replacement, and it worked for about three years, but the left slot ejector is stuck, and it is a pain in the arse to get toast out of it.

Time to buy a new toaster.

No problem, go to Amazon, and search for 2 slice countertop toasters. There are plenty.

The problem is that there are a lot of “sponsored” ads, and some really shitty prioritization.

Like this Cuisinaid:

I guess it is a portmanteau of Cuisinart and KitchenAid. Seems dodgy to me.

Or how about that powerhouse brand, iFedio?

That looks like high quality there. I mean, it has up to 7 bread shades you can toast to? How could you ever top that?

Then there is the once mighty brand that has fallen on hard times, like this Hamilton Beach:

Reminds me of the line from the Rocky Horror Picture Show, “Always reach for a Hamilton Beach, it slices, it dices, it circumcises”.

There must be 500 different toasters listed. I suspect that many of them are mediocrity incarnate.

I think I will take a trek to the local Target and pick one up off the shelf, convenience be damned.

I can be certain that I will not buy another Oster. That is what we have, and it didn’t age well. At all.

About the author


Product Manager in Tech. Guitar player. Bicycle Rider. Dog rescuer. Techie.

By gander


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January 2023

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