Whenever you hear or see the word “Trump”, you can instantly conjure in your mind gaudy, cheesy, trite shit. Trump steaks, Trump vodka, Trump Sneakers, Trump “tourbillon” watches, and Trump Tokens as part of World Liberty Financial.
That doesn’t even cover the main branding deals that make up the bulk of the Trump family corporation’s recent past business activities.
Alas, there are many that I missed, but never fear, there are still many opportunities for the Orange-hued shit-gibbon to case in on the rubes.
Case in point: The Trump Guitars.
Wow, look how awesome this is. A non-photoshopped DJT holding a Gibson Les Paul copy, complete with a custom fretboard inlay that says either “Make America Great Again”, or “Donald J Trump”.
For a mere $1,500 you too can join this club. The first 1,000 units will be “numbered”, and there will be much fewer of the gold ticket ones where Trump has whipped out his Sharpie and signed it. That add on, the flop sweat that he drops while his tiny hands scribbled out the scrawl of his signature.
Neato!
But let’s look at that cherry axe. From the website, this set of images is helpful:
What do I see. Well, it is a two piece back. Probably alder or a local variant (like Nayotah). The cap (a carved piece laid over to give it a semi-arch top experience) is probably the same wood, mainly because they apply a graphic decal to it, instead of a nicely figured piece of maple that is the custom. Below is a nice deeply quilted maple cap:
Ain’t that gorgeous?
But, what the hell is this, the neck is not set, but bolt on?
Uh oh, that isn’t authentic. Even the cheapest Chinese knock-off has a set neck.
Note: there’s nothing wrong with a bolt on neck, but it just ain’t a Les Paul rip-off if it has a bolt on2.
So, for $1,500 you can buy a budget Les Paul clone with a custom inlay in the fretboard, a bolt on neck, and if you have a $8,500 more, you can get Trump’s signature on it with a gold Sharpie. What a deal.
Oh, and while the website is festooned with “All in stock guitars will be shipped by Christmas”, there are banners claiming that it will take 5-6 months to receive your trinket. Nothing like fronting this fly-by-night grifter $1,500 – $10,000 for something they may deliver to you later. No way that is gonna go bad, amirite?
I hopped over to AliExpress, the Chinese super-site and looked for a Les Paul. I found for $314 shipped, a figured top, 1959 spec Les Paul with all the “proper” Gibson logos and goodies (so good that you have to really look hard to spot the differences).
In quantities of 100 or so, the Trump Guitar is probably costing this scuzzy operator $200 a pop3. So, $1,300 net profit, split with the Mango Mussolini.
Not bad for almost no work. The suckers will be fleeced, they will spend WAY too much money for something that is at best a wall hanger.
P.T. Barnum was on to something.
Why am I getting this bullshit in my email? Go away, you moron.
You get it because you signed up for it.
So, go fuck yourself if you can’t figure out how to unsubscribe
The moment I saw that Trump was offering ghee-tars I thought to myself, “I wonder what Geoff would say about this?”
Glad to see you picked right up on it.
Happy Thanksgiving to you.
You should check out my alter ego at https://www.sweatyspice.com
I post a LOT more there.