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  • Apartment Living – Now the party house is a car repair…

    Apartment Living – Now the party house is a car repair…

    More on the trials and tribulations of living in an apartment, this time, the house across the street has stepped up their game beyond the 4 nights a week of parties. Now they are doing auto repair.

    Yep, auto repair. Changing oil, replacing starters, installing LOUD stereo systems, and fart cans on cheap Japanese econoboxes.

    It is a joy, especially since they start at about 6 PM. Nothing like unmuffled motorcycles buzzing up and down the street. I think I prefer the parties, the fights, and the police activity.

    Then last week, an honest to god street race on Sunday night. About 8:00 PM two cars pull up, a chase car behind them, and redline clutch drop. Sigh.

    I hope we can one day afford to buy a house.

  • Spam – The SEO Expert

    Spam – The SEO Expert

    More in the Spam files. This time, we have a jackass trying to tell me how to better do SEO (Search Engine Optimization). Of course, the best suggestion is to hire them to help me.

    Oh boy.  I get 2-3 of these a week across my wordpress sites. I really don’t do this for money, fame or notoriety. I do a little SEO, but in general, I don’t give a damn.  I write to scratch an itch.

    Hello Web Admin, I noticed that your On-Page SEO is is missing a few factors, for one you do not use all three H tags in your post, also I notice that you are not using bold or italics properly in your SEO optimization. On-Page SEO means more now than ever since the new Google update: Panda. No longer are backlinks and simply pinging or sending out a RSS feed the key to getting Google PageRank or Alexa Rankings, You now NEED On-Page SEO. So what is good On-Page SEO?First your keyword must appear in the title.Then it must appear in the URL.You have to optimize your keyword and make sure that it has a nice keyword density of 3-5% in your article with relevant LSI (Latent Semantic Indexing). Then you should spread all H1,H2,H3 tags in your article.Your Keyword should appear in your first paragraph and in the last sentence of the page. You should have relevant usage of Bold and italics of your keyword.There should be one internal link to a page on your blog and you should have one image with an alt tag that has your keyword….wait there’s even more Now what if i told you there was a simple WordPress plugin that does all the On-Page SEO, and automatically for you? That’s right AUTOMATICALLY, just watch this 4minute video for more information at.

    Yeah, I am gonna call you right up (roll eyes)

  • Spam – Persistence…

    Spam – Persistence…

    More in the series on comment spam. Some people keep at it, against all odds. Meet “Vivienne Westwood Dragon Lady Shoes”.  She seems to think that aficionados of Greyhounds (and my “GreytBros blog) would want to buy some shitty knock off shoes (that are often made with PVC instead of leather).

    From the dashboard of the Greyt Bro's blog.
    From the dashboard of the Greyt Bro’s blog.

    Persistence pays off, so says everybody. Particularly if you are in the comment spam game. It is a business model that requires a lot of impressions, so the perpetrators cast their net far and wide.

    Obviously, enough people will click on and buy this crap so it must work. But that doesn’t mean that I will perpetuate it. So, I will delete and report as spam all these comments. Vivienne needs to phish elsewhere.

  • Spam – the Suck Up

    Spam – the Suck Up

    Spam filters like Akismet do a phenomenal job of keeping the trash at bay (if you ever want to see how bad it can get, create a web forum, make it open access, without moderation, and watch the spam fill your hard disk). However, one type of message is very likely to fill the filter. It is – The Suck Up

    Short, it is highly congratulatory. It praises the content (yet never anything specific, just generic), and how they will be sure to read more from you in the future.

    It can also mention the awesome style, and quality of your writing. Hey, I know I am a talentless hack, so that is totally bullshit, but it does fool the filters. On to this edition of comment spam:

    constantly i used to read smaller posts which as well
    clear their motive, and that is also happening with
    this article which I am reading now.

    Note that this has hard line breaks into smaller lines. I suspect that indicates to the filter that this is written by a breathing human.  Sigh, so easy to fool.

    As with all spam, this user points their “web page” to an online store. Cleverly disguised as a spearphishing link to a faux Youtube channel.  Sigh.  Delete, and add to the Akismet learning set.

  • Spam – The Mulberry Outlet

    Spam – The Mulberry Outlet

    So begins a series of the comment spam I receive on my wordpress sites. Yes, I use the Akismet plugin (and have since 2009) to keep the spam comments at bay, and it does a phenomenal job, blocking literally thousands of spammy comments. But lately, there have been a steady stream of comment spam that sneaks by. This series of posts will highlight some of the insightful verbiage to get by the bayesian filters.

    Today’s contestant is someone selling (presumably knock off) Mulbury goods. He crafted a message to circumvent the filters, and here it is in all it’s glory:

    Or mulberry outlet do not need to understand, because they do not the same people of the world. Day policy camp has appeared in sight, mercenary embattled, without the slightest malaise is not following simple defense staggered during the District number baizhang the distance, I do not know the surprise trip, or a death march. Without wasting mulberry outlet to this was. The “Amherst Act finally spoke, the first sentence is to praise the enemy. Three hundred eligible thieves on horseback, see mercenary can only rear junction array to be only one person alone in front, and his heart laughed, single-handedly to resist the 300 horses in the open heaven’s I was just kidding!.

    Of course, it might be a social media expert from the Mulberry company, but I highly doubt it.

    Of course, the goal was to get the poster’s IP address and website in the comments, to lure unsuspecting rubes to click on his link to a knockoff shop.  But instead, I put a link to the real Mulberry site.  How is that?

  • Apartment Living – Friday Night Sights and Sounds

    Apartment Living – Friday Night Sights and Sounds

    Friday night is party night, right? (Well, if you are the asshats in the duplex across the street, Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday are party nights, but I digress …) Ah yes, the outdoor activities are up.

    Kids are playing Soccer out front of our door. Cool, except they keep kicking it into the wall and our door. Fortunately there are no windows to break within reach.

    The teenagers are coalescing around the play ground. Not sure if they are going to neck, smoke dope, or leave used condoms around. Probably all three. (yes, there are often used condoms lying around. Ewww)

    As I mentioned in the leader, the duplex directly across the street is beginning their “party”. About 9:00 AM, they will move cars out, and then the driveway becomes an impromptu dance floor. If we are lucky, it will break up around 1:00 AM without any verbal shouting. But, I am not feeling very lucky.

    I sit here at my computer, listening to some Return to Forever, something magic about Chick Corea and Al Di Meola… Makes it all better.

    Update: Yep, at midnight, there was police activity. Some loud arguing at the side of the street (about a bad parallel parking job?) prompted someone to call the po po.  My friday night was complete.

  • Getting Old – the Signs are Everywhere

    Getting Old – the Signs are Everywhere

    There are plenty of symptoms and signs that you are getting old. And I am not talking about the harassment by AARP for you to join.

    Sign 1 – You have a pill box to organize your daily medication. Often this starts as one, but soon becomes two as you will have morning and night medications. Statins, Ace Inhibitors, Beta Blockers, aspirin, anti coagulants. Yep you are getting old when you are on a first name basis with your pharmacist (and I am not talking weed)

    Sign 2 – You give up your motorcycle endorsement on your drivers license. I have had that endorsement since I was 16 and got my license. I carried it with me to Arizona. But coming back to California, I let it drop. This is acknowledging I will never ride a motorcycle again. Sad day indeed.

    (more…)

  • My Atheism – 4, What a Waste

    The next episode in my experience with organized religion and why I am grateful to have been a life long atheist, is from my time in College. Not well known is the fact that I worked my way through college in restaurants. There I met a mormon woman, I will call Cheryl (not her real name).

    Cheryl was in high school, and knowing that I was studying physics and math, she asked for some help with her schoolwork. She was a junior and was taking AP calculus, so without a doubt she had aptitude.

    After these mentoring sessions (really, it wasn’t tutoring, she just needed some blocks to her thinking removed), we became friends. As friends do, we shared stories about ourselves, mostly just topical themes (completely platonic.)

    As with many religious people, she was completely molded by her religion, chosen for her by her parents and enforced by her familial ties. I had known she was a “Mormon”, but at that time I really didn’t know what that meant, other than that it was  some form of Christian.

    As time went on and I was helping her more with her math and science topics, I asked about where she was going to go to college, and then I was floored with her response. She wasn’t going to college. She had a husband arranged for her, and he was on his “Mission” in some place of the world. When he returned they would be married, and she would be the homemaker, raising their kids, and doing her part.

    Wow. Here was a very bright, gifted young woman, who because of the religious indoctrination of her family would be trapped at home to care for a gaggle of kids. And she seemed to be satisfied that was her place in life. At the age of 17.

    Not to denigrate the role of homemaker, and stay at home mom, but to have that decision made (for you) before you finish high school seems really whack to me.

    Years later, when I was learning about contemporary religions, I learned about the story of Joseph Smith, and the genesis of the Mormon church. 100% quackery and bullpuckey. Thanks to the boys of South Park who did a quite factual episode describing their beliefs and origins (and not making fun of their special undergarments).

    I was quickly learning that there was little positive about the blind following of a religious sect. And up to this point I had only experience with “christian” denominations.

  • Getting Old – uh, what was I talking about…

    Getting Old – uh, what was I talking about…

    There is plenty of evidence of getting old. Having a heart attack. Finding out that you have arthritis in your hands. Chronic pain in various parts of your body that just don’t go away.

    A few weeks ago, someone mentioned that they were ignoring the advice of their physicians and abusing their bodies. I of course had to weigh in.

    As I approach the magic five oh, I am falling apart. Early in my life I had a similar belief. As a teen, I got heavily into motorcycles. Starting with off road, it was an every weekend practice. I was young, I was invincible. I would ride any trail, I would do anything. Hills, jumps, gnarly tree-filled trails. Absolutely bulletproof.

    Then at the ripe old age of 16, I got the first life lesson. Riding at Hollister Hills on the TT track, I was riding a friends bike. It was a 1979 Yamaha TT 500. Big single thumper. A natural slider. Not a lot of suspension travel, but a natural slider. I was flat tracking it that day like Mert Lawill at the San Jose Mile.

    Then in one corner, I got nailed. A rider on a Yamaha YZ400 hit me while I was sliding. Off, on the high side. Massive dislocated shoulder.

    Groan. 3 years later, it is popping out while I am sleeping. Right after I graduated high school, I get it repaired. A Bristow repair of my shoulder.

    Fast forward to today. Somewhere at age 26, it re-dislocated. Not worth describing how, but it was painful. Today, I have a constant ache. It isn’t agony. But it is getting worse. Since my heart attack, I have been on medicine that preclude taking NSAID’s, and oh boy, that causes pain.

    Have a heart attack (age 44), dislocate a shoulder (age 16, repaired at 18, re-dislocated at 26), have plantar fascitis at age 45, jam you knee badly (again off road motorcycling) at 38, and at 49 you are in a pretty constant state of pain.

    I wouldn’t recommend getting old.

  • Apartment Living – Bad and Good

    Apartment Living – Bad and Good

    There are many bad things about living in a less than great neighborhood. But also some really good things. This is a mixed bag post.

    First, the bad

    Sandals

    Early this week, while walking my dogs, I stepped in some dog feces. One of the hazards regardless of how nice the neighborhood is, no matter how cultured (or not) the residents are, people walking their dogs are very negligent in picking up their dog’s droppings.

    Instead of tracking it into my apartment, I left my Teva’s to let the poop dry so I could shake it off. But the next morning I step outside to shake the shit off, and they are gone. Someone decided that they needed my sandals more than me, and took them.

    They were well worn, so I am not going to cry a river, but it does seem petty that footwear isn’t safe.

    Early phone calls

    Our master bedroom faces over the patio(s) in our bank of units (it also faces a busy street, but that is a different story).

    Of course, that means we hear the wild parties across the street (2 – 3 nights a week), and the drunken fights that happen as the parties breakup. Bad enough.

    This morning, at 4:00 AM, our neighbor is on his patio talking to a (suspected ex) love interest. Not fighting, but loud, a mix of english and spanish, and a lot of sad sap pleading about how much he loved her and can’t live without her.

    For over an hour.

    Groan.

    Next, the good

    Mariachi

    Last night, walking the dogs, there was a small mariachi band practicing on the steps of one of the apartments. Guitar, Accordion, and horns.

    Not that I am aficionado, but they were quite good.

    Well, that is all for this episode of Apartment Living.